There was an air of supreme excitement when Cristiano Ronaldo returned to Manchester United from Juventus in 2021, which was elevated by Peter Drury’s commentary: “Madeira, Manchester, Madrid, Turin and Manchester again. Wreathed in red. Restored to this great gallery of the game. A walking work of art. Vintage. Beyond valuation, beyond forgery or imitation. 18 years since that trembling teenager of touch and tease, first tiptoed on this storied stage; Now in his immaculate maturity; CR7 – Reunited.” As is wont with giddy optimism, it soon became a Voltaire character. It started off well enough, but soon it was evident that having Ronaldo in the team created an imbalanced squad, which eventually saw Ole Gunnar Solskjaer fired and Ronaldo’s contract ripped up after a rather Roy Keanesque interview with Piers Morgan.A few years later, one sees Ronaldo totter around the penalty box more like a sheep than the GOAT his fans think he is. He had two shots and, as Thierry Henry pointed out, it would have been a tap-in for Bruno Fernandes behind him if he had just let the ball run.Ronaldo now spends most of his time in an offside position, making no difference to his team’s play, and the only benefit, as Wayne Rooney points out, is that it allows others to run into space. But truth be told, it’s rather painful watching for those who saw him making his Manchester United debut in 2004 against Bolton Wanderers, the trembling teenager of touch and tease whose sphere of influence has decreased from the whole pitch to now just the opposition’s penalty box.In the 1-1 draw against the Democratic Republic of Congo, it was evident that Father Time has left his indelible mark.
Perhaps Portugal should take the hard call and put the GOAT out to pasture. In Indian politics, there’s a term called the Margdarshak Mandal, which refers to a group of elderly councilmen whose job is to guide the party. It’s a polite way of kicking people upstairs, and Margdarshak literally means one who shows the light, and perhaps that will be the best role for Ronaldo, who was also off the pitch when Portugal last won a major trophy: Euro 2016, not the cobbled-together Nations League. Because if they don’t, they just might lose their best chance of winning the World Cup.There was much consternation when Thomas Tuchel was picked to be the manager of the Three Lions, with many patriotic Englishmen wondering if all the Brits were dead that one had to pick a Jerry as manager, forgetting conveniently that their Royal family was called Saxe-Coburg and Gotha and the name was changed to Windsor during World War I to shed its German roots. Some even joked if Tuchel was a Dhurandhar-style spy picked to stymie the English team after he left talented players like Phil Foden, Cole Palmer, Trent Alexander-Arnold and Harry Maguire back home.
While England have certainly performed better in international tournaments under Gareth Southgate, football’s almost Cromwell, under Thomas Tuchel, England gave one of the best performances in memory against Croatia as they won 4-2 against Modric and Co, who seem to be representing Vatreni since its independence.More often than not, England have looked catatonic even with Premier League superstars turning up, so it was rather surprising to see them play without fear as they didn’t let their shoulders drop after Croatia equalised twice. Harry Kane continued his remarkable form, Jude Bellingham scored a banger without looking like the entire island’s expectation was wearing him down, and even Rashford scored a delightful goal and celebrated like he had just fed a hungry kid.After the match, Kane revealed that their second-half performance was thanks to a reinvigorating Tuchel speech, in which he told the English players to “take the shackles off” and show the world who they were. Now, it’s very early in the tournament to even talk about football coming home, but if Tuchel somehow did lead England to a World Cup, will a Jerry get a knighthood?Meanwhile, the other group game saw Ghana struggle to get past Panama in a match where the main talking point was fans booing the hydration breaks rather than anything that happened on the field. While a Partey-less Ghana scored in the 95th minute, neither England nor Croatia will be trembling in their boots at facing either team.Meanwhile, Colombia’s old guard led them to a comfortable 3-1 win over Uzbekistan, and Diaz in particular played with the zeal of a man who is high on the country’s greatest export. His pass to Daniel Munoz was impossible to defend, as was Munoz’s flying finish, which was the goal of the tournament so far. Interestingly, Munoz is from Amalfi, a town of only 30,000 people where a picture of the Royal Bengal Tiger is displayed with prominence, and the legend goes that the tiger devoured thousands of cattle before five men hunted it down. Ironically, it wasn’t a tiger but an American jaguar, but the legend stood.Meanwhile, the upcoming matches don’t have any teams who might bother bookmakers about lifting the trophy, but it will still be interesting to see how Czechia handle South Africa as both look to put their first defeats behind them. One interesting side angle, as pointed out by The Athletic, is that South Africa are the second-shortest team at the tournament while Czechia are the fifth-tallest, which could make set-pieces crucial.Meanwhile, in Group B, Switzerland take on Bosnia and Herzegovina, with the former now coming to be viewed as a reliable watch from that part of the world, which is why they will still be smarting about letting Qatar score an equaliser. Bosnia are no pushover, and with their talisman Edin Dzeko on the verge of a return, they might be a fly in the fondue for the Swiss.And then there is Canada vs Qatar. The oil-rich nation has already bettered their 2022 record by grabbing a point against Switzerland, but the smart money is still on the co-hosts Canada to grab a win, particularly if their star player Alphonso Davies is back.And finally, one of the most evenly matched games will be Mexico vs South Korea. The former have the home advantage; the latter are Asia’s best-performing team in a World Cup and have genuine and proven stars.Off the pitch, Mexicans have embraced South Korea with open arms with the chant: “Coreano, hermano ya eres Mexicano (Korean, brother, you are Mexican now).”That particular bonhomie goes back to 2018, when South Korea beat defending champions Germany to help Mexico qualify.The camaraderie blossomed after the final matches of the group stage at the 2018 World Cup in Russia. After a shocking loss to Sweden, Mexico’s chances of advancing to the next round hinged on South Korea beating the defending champions, Germany. Against all odds, the Koreans beat the Jerries, which saw supporters in Mexico City march all the way to the South Korean embassy to hoist the consul general onto their shoulders.After the first round of games, we also have a hotly contested race for the Golden Boot, with Messi leading the charge with three goals, while Erling Haaland, Kylian Mbappe, Harry Kane, Folarin Balogun, Kai Havertz, Yasin Ayari and Elijah Just are all tied on two goals.Meanwhile, off the pitch, there have been numerous talking points, including fans coming up with rather unparliamentary chants about Donald Trump, none of which are publishable.Boston, which has always had an Irish heart, has fallen in love with the Tartan Army from Scotland, whose fans drank the city dry.The Portugal vs Congo match had a surprising desi connection: Congo’s Samuel Moutoussamy’s father is from Tamil Nadu, while Portuguese keeper Diogo Costa’s grandfather is from Goa, which means this might be the first match where two players with desi connections were on the pitch together.Also read other Offside Columns: FIFA, meanwhile, is facing repeated questions about its ticketing policy, with visibly empty stadiums which Gianni Infantino insists are full, which perhaps explains why iShowSpeed can be seen at every stadium at the same time. All said and done, to quote Robert Frost, it has just been one week, and there are miles to go before we sleep. Quite literally.
