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A dating coach’s viral post about a 40-year-old man rejecting a marriage prospect over her tattoo and drinking habits has sparked a heated debate online
A dating coach’s conversation with a 40-year-old matchmaking client has gone viral on social media (Image-Instagram/@oendrila.kapoor)
A viral social media post by matchmaker and dating coach Oendrila Kapoor has divided the internet after she revealed why a 40-year-old client turned down a potential marriage match.
According to Kapoor, the man dismissed the woman based on her tattoo, drinking habits, and independent lifestyle, triggering a wider conversation about judgment and compatibility in arranged marriages.
Kapoor, founder of The Date Crew, recounted the incident in a video that has since gained significant traction on social media. According to her, the man, who comes from a business family and has never been married, explained that he could not imagine being with a woman who had permanent tattoos and drank alcohol.
“He’s 40 years old, he comes from a business family and he’s never been married,” Kapoor said in the video. Recalling their conversation, she explained that when she asked him why he had rejected a recent match, he pointed to the woman’s tattoo and drinking habits as deal-breakers.
When Kapoor sought clarification, the man reportedly suggested that such traits reflected a person’s character and indicated the kind of household they would run. She responded by pointing out that the woman in question was a 36-year-old marketing head at a major company and had only a single tattoo on her wrist.
The conversation, however, did not end there. Kapoor said the client also considered the fact that the woman lived independently in Mumbai, away from her family, to be a “red flag.” According to him, women who move away from their families and gain freedom in large cities may lead lifestyles that are difficult to assess.
Kapoor challenged the notion internally, noting that the woman was a successful professional living on her own in one of India’s most expensive cities. She viewed that independence as empowering rather than concerning. The man, however, maintained that a “good woman” would never choose to live away from her family.
The dating coach further recalled that the client described himself as educated, financially stable, and from a respectable family, but expressed frustration that these qualities did not seem sufficient to attract women. Kapoor said she told him that respect was equally important in relationships and that women also wanted to feel valued.
Reflecting on the conversation, Kapoor admitted she remained conflicted about whether she should have directly challenged his views.
She noted that deeply ingrained beliefs developed over decades are unlikely to change during a single discussion and asked her followers whether she had done the right thing by remaining silent or whether she should have confronted his perspective.
In the caption accompanying the video, Kapoor argued that the issue was not merely the man’s preference but the assumptions he attached to certain characteristics.
She wrote that many people form judgments about potential partners before even meeting them, creating narratives based on superficial details such as tattoos, profession, or place of residence.
“The tattoo becomes the problem. The city becomes the problem. The job becomes the problem. When in reality, the problem is often the judgment,” she wrote, emphasizing that respect should not be reserved only for a future spouse but extended to all individuals regardless of personal preferences.
The post quickly attracted thousands of views and sparked a lively debate in the comments section, with users expressing a wide range of opinions.
One user humorously wrote, “May men like that never find me cos I just know I will be his worst nightmare come true 😅🙈🙈”.
Another commenter felt Kapoor should have spoken up, saying, “Yes 1 convo with you will not change 40 years of conditioning but calling out such people is also important, why should only they make other people uncomfy”.
A third user offered a balanced perspective, commenting, “Definitely you shouldn’t have challenged him simply because he is your client but should have told him that his expectations will not be met as they are invalid. Also if he wants to be respected he will have to change his mindset with time because women are changing and adapting as per the current times if he doesn’t do it he might never find anyone.”
Not everyone agreed with Kapoor’s stance. One user questioned her approach, writing, “Well why don’t you do your job i.e. “matchmaking” instead of judging people that they have non-smoker or non-drinker girl/ guy in their preference?”
Similarly, another commenter defended the client, saying, “If you can’t find that woman for him just tell him. Why you are portray him as a villan just because he Doesn’t want that kind of woman.bro he can easily find a woman who are like someone he liked. If you can’t find that say that. You are judeging him for no reason. He didn’t like that he said to you.”
Others took a lighter tone. One user joked, “Man……I want a woman who has a tattoo and drinks with me😂😂😂😂”.
Another person shared a personal experience, writing, “I have faced rejection for the exact same reason, have faced rejection for my food choices as well, shall I judge and vilify women for the same?”
Meanwhile, one commenter strongly supported Kapoor’s decision not to engage further, stating, “These men will never change and will NEVER EVER understand even if you try to convey anything, so you handled it perfectly by not saying anything and saving your energy 💗”.
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