Manushi Chhillar grew up surrounded by doctors. So when her sister said she wanted to become one too, you might expect her parents to be thrilled — but their response was less about carrying forward a family legacy and more about making sure she understood what she was signing up for.
During a conversation with Soha Ali Khan on her podcast All About Her, when asked whether she ever felt pressure from her parents to become a doctor, the Miss World 2017’s response stirred an important parenting lesson.
“It never came from my parents,” she said, recalling what happened when her sister expressed her desire to pursue medicine.
“Like my sister, when she spoke about wanting to become a doctor, my mother prepared her mentally that, don’t do it because we are doctors, do it because you really want to become a doctor. Because you need to be prepared for what it really takes.”
DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.
For Chhillar’s mother, the point was not to discourage her daughter from medicine, but to make sure the decision was an informed one. Getting through NEET, she suggested, is only the beginning of a much longer and demanding journey.
“We’re talking about NEET right now, but four and a half years of MBBS, That’s just the beginning of your journey. It’s a very demanding curriculum,” Chhillar said.
Psychologist Prerna Pant, Psychologist, ISIC Multispeciality Hospital, Delhi, describes this as a healthy and balanced approach to parenting because it allows parents to be honest about a career without turning that honesty into pressure.
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“This is a healthy and balanced style of parenting because it combines honesty with freedom of choice. Parents can explain the challenges involved in a career without making the child feel pressured. When children know they are supported even if they change their minds, they are more likely to make decisions based on their own interests and abilities.”
It isn’t always parents who create the pressure
Chhillar also spoke about the peer pressure and how all of her friends expected her to become a doctor, given that she came from a family of medicos.
“And I grew up always saying that, anything but a doctor because there are too many doctors around me.”
She recalled how her friends, including her best friends, initially saw medicine as an exciting aspiration.
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What stayed with Chhillar, she said, was the sense of freedom she had at both home and school. She was brought up knowing that she could make her own choices — and that making a mistake would not mean losing her parents’ support.
“I grew up in an environment where, whether at school or at home, we were given a lot of confidence as to, you are allowed to do whatever you want to do and you’re allowed to make mistakes.”
“I knew that no matter what I did, my parents would support.”
How a reality check can coexist with support
“I knew that no matter what I did, my parents would support,” Chhillar recalls (Image Source: Miss India/X)
That support, however, did not mean her parents simply told her to follow her dreams without discussing the difficult parts. Chhillar remembered her mother sitting her down and explaining that medicine would require a serious commitment.
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“Even when my mom sat me down and gave me the talk about, this being a very, very big commitment, and it will take a lot from you.”
Pant believes these conversations are particularly important when children are making major decisions about their future.
“Such conversations are very important because children need realistic information before making major decisions. A reality check helps them understand the effort, responsibilities and challenges involved, while emotional support reassures them that they do not have to face those challenges alone. This balance allows children to make thoughtful choices without feeling judged or pressured.”
For Chhillar, the fact that her parents would support her even if she changed her mind gave her the confidence to take the decision seriously rather than fear it.
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She said that even a day before the exam, she knew she could tell her parents she no longer wanted to pursue medicine and they would not force her into it. “They would have said, it’s okay, we’ll figure something else out. But this is an informed decision you have to make.”
That, she said, was the balance in her upbringing.
“So there was a combination of accountability, but we were never pushed to a stage of desperation.”
And according to Pant, that kind of environment can shape much more than a child’s career choice. When children are given the freedom to make decisions and learn from the consequences, they gradually become more confident in their own judgement.
“A supportive parenting environment helps children develop confidence in their own judgement. When parents allow children to make choices and learn from mistakes, they gradually become more independent decision-makers.”
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Pant added that such children can also learn to see setbacks not simply as failures, but as opportunities to learn. Over time, this can build resilience, self-belief and a healthier perspective towards life.
Chhillar’s heartfelt experience isn’t just about whether her parents encouraged or discouraged medicine. Psychologists highlight that the fact her parents made sure the choice belonged to her — while also making sure she understood what that choice would demand, sets a great parenting example.
DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.
