In a recent podcast appearance, Kiara Advani spoke candidly about how motherhood has changed her emotionally, physically, and mentally since welcoming her daughter, Saraayah, with her husband, Sidharth Malhotra, last July.
In a conversation with Raj Shamani, the actor described becoming a mother as a life-altering experience that reshaped her sense of self and priorities. “Everything changes in you as a personality. I feel that before and after becoming a mum, I’m a completely different person in every way. And I’ve come to terms with it also,” Kiara said. She added that motherhood has brought a stronger sense of responsibility and self-awareness into her life: “There’s so much more purpose in everything you do. I’m constantly thinking of setting an example for my daughter. What would my daughter feel if I did this? (sic)”
Kiara also spoke openly about postpartum changes, stressing that the subject needs more honest discussion. “Postpartum should be something that’s spoken of much more. Everyone’s journey is different postpartum. It hits you in different ways physically and emotionally,” she said. Recalling her own experience, she revealed that she developed “a skin situation out of the blue” after childbirth, something that would once have deeply affected her confidence. “Earlier, it’d make me feel, ‘Oh my god! Why has this happened!’ But now in my life, nothing can stop me, and I’ll continue to live,” she shared.
One of the strongest themes in Kiara’s reflections was the emotional “identity shift” that accompanies motherhood. “There’s such an identity shift. It’s such a new world. In that moment, it takes time for the woman who’s going through to give herself grace. It’s taken me six months!” she said. She admitted that she spent much of her life being “other-centric,” often prioritising others over herself, and that she only recently began learning to set emotional boundaries and practise self-compassion. “After 34 years, I’ve learnt to set boundaries. I’ve learnt not to have overcritical conversations with myself about everything. I learnt not to focus on fear. And I’ve had to teach myself all of these things in these six months,” she added.
The actor also described how emotionally demanding the postpartum phase can become when combined with work pressures, self-image concerns, and social media scrutiny. She admitted that immediately after childbirth, she became “very critical” of herself, saying, “If I read anything about myself, it’d get to me. I’d go into a very defensive mode. Social media can be a spiral.” At the same time, Kiara reflected on the intense workload that motherhood itself involves. “When you’re sitting at home, the amount of work a mother or a homemaker does is more than anything any of us can do,” she said. Calling it a “double hustle,” she explained how balancing caregiving, household responsibilities, future planning, and work creates a constant emotional and mental load. “You’re responsible for someone else’s life, and suddenly, you’re running a whole home in a different way,” she shared.
On motherhood as an ‘identity shift’
Gurleen Baruah, Existential Psychotherapist at That Culture Thing, tells indianexpress.com, “Motherhood is one of the biggest transitions in a human’s life. Suddenly, there is a new being who is totally dependent on you. Your routine, schedule, self-time, sleep, and sense of normalcy all get reshaped. It can feel like a complete internal reorganisation.”
At the same time, she mentions that hormones like oxytocin act as a natural love booster, creating deep bonding and reward. So it is both deeply rewarding and very challenging. “Questions of self-identity, brain fog, emotional overwhelm, and feeling like you have temporarily lost parts of yourself can all happen. That does not mean something is wrong. It means the mind and self are adapting to a profound life change.”
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Why postpartum mental health is still not openly discussed enough
Postpartum mental health is still not openly discussed enough because after childbirth, Baruah says, much of the focus naturally shifts to the baby, and the mother is often expected to manage her recovery quietly on her own. She highlights, “But for the mother, this is one of the biggest physical, emotional, and psychological transitions of life. Her body has gone through immense change, and it is from her body that the child is being nourished and cared for.”
Signs families and mothers should pay attention to include prolonged sadness, anxiety, irritability, withdrawal, emotional numbness, guilt, harsh self-criticism, difficulty bonding, sleep disturbance beyond caregiving, or feeling unlike oneself. Recognising these signs early and responding with empathy and support matters deeply.
